Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Breaking heart's & Breaking free

              I asked God to break my heart for what breaks His and this is what He has been laying on my heart lately. Human trafficking. This is the slightly PC term for it but the stripped down truth is it's women stolen, sold, bought, degraded, drugged, used till they are lucky enough to die, granting them temporary freedom from this life only to be chained to an eternal life in a worse hell.
     We like to think as a country we abolished slavery in the 1860's but we never did. Slavery has been apart of this world since the fall of Adam and Eve. It started with them falling into slavery with sin and continues today with girls sold into slavery of sin. Through out history there have been slaves, Israelites, Hebrews, Irish, the poor, Africans, and now, always, since the beginning, women, girls, sisters, daughters. We don't talk about it. It's not proper dinner conversation. It's ugly, scary, disgusting, unheard of. Out of sight out of mind. Until it's your 13 year old daughter that has been stolen, sold, used, broken. We don't think it happens here. Not in this great and mighty nation we live in. How does it happen anywhere? Our world is so much better then it's ever been. It happens, here, there, everywhere.
     I'm a realist. I don't think I or we can abolish slavery before Jesus returns. I don't think it will be abolished until God sets up His kingdom here after the tribulation. BUT I do think that if I can educate one person, break one more heart for what breaks Gods, save ONE girl in the name of JESUS, then I have abolished slavery in ONE life. When I look at my daughters, when I pray for their future, I pray for innocence, walks, husbands, marriages. I pray they enjoy these things. Now I pray for the daughters that have lost these things, I pray for renewing, rebirthing in the cleansing power of shed blood.

A friends niece runs this website that is committed to making people aware of human trafficking.

A Holy Experience introduced me to this website that makes and sells items saving one soul at a time by offering jobs to those they can save.

     This Christmas while your trying to find that perfect gift and spend your money wisely how about one of these great gifts for your person and at the same time give a daughter freedom for hell in this lifetime and eternal life through Jesus. Is He not the reason for the season.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Christmas With No Santa?

     My kids were watching a show on t.v. the other night and everybody was freaking out because Santa had disappeared.

     Can you please tell me when did Santa replace Jesus?????????????????????????

Many of you are thinking "There is nothing wrong with Santa." "My children believed in Santa and they are just fine." Your right, in general there is nothing wrong with Santa, and my oldest two believed in Santa also till they were in about 3rd grade (the youngest is only 3 she doesn't count!). My dilemma is Why? Why do we want to add anyone or anything to this time of year when as a Christian the entire reason I celebrate this season to begin with is giving thanks for God's blessings (Thanksgiving) and to give thanks for His ultimate blessing, the birth of His Son Jesus Christ. We complain about the "commercialism" of Christmas but aren't I just as guilty by letting anything into my heart and home besides Jesus?

     I get that Santa has roots in Christmas, good roots, giving roots but he is not the ultimate gift giver. God is. So why would we want to let him share God's glory? Isn't that what we're doing? If we celebrate Santa along side the baby Jesus aren't we letting the jolly ole fat man share in the glory of our Lord and Father, our Jehovah-Jireh, God our provider? He is the root of Christmas. He is the giver of Christ. He is the giver of our salvation. He is the giver of our lives, our breath, the blood that flows in our veins. He is the giver of His Son. He is the giver of His Son's death and the soul cleansing blood that flowed from His veins.

     Instead of "Christmas without Santa?" shouldn't we be asking "Is there a Christmas without God and His Son Jesus?"
    Don't worry I've not fallen off the deep end. My children will be getting Christmas presents but not from Santa. Partly because they no longer believe in him and partly because we fully believe in Him. .

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


I feel like a five year old.

     Let me just say that taking a "Spiritual Journey" is like taking a trip to Disney World. At first your all like "Woo Hoo lets go!! This is going to be great!" and then your all "Are we there yet? How much longer till we get there?"!!!  (squirrel) When our preacher went to Israel his kids said it was like his Disney World!
     But seriously I'm striving for that relationship with God, ya know the kind that you see people like Ann Voskamp or Lisa Terkeurst have. These are women that you know suffer the same problems as the rest of us but handle them in a way that only comes from having more than a personal relationship with Christ. From having that no questions asked, I'd do anything for you, till death do us part, BF F's forever and ever kind of relationship. I want to say "Man this is hard work." but the truth is I know it's the easiest thing in the world to accomplish. It's simple really.

 Read my bible.

Study His word.

 Not hard at all. Not like oh I don't know trying to lose way too much weight after having my 3rd child and letting myself go just a little (lot).
     Like everything these days I want instant gratification. There's no instant gratification with relationships. They take work, effort, time, time, time. Here's that whole "Are we there yet!! How much longer!!" part.
     So I feel like a five year old, bouncing in my seat, asking if we're there yet, waiting excitedly for the grand adventure to begin.

The best part about being an adult during this is that, I know that getting there is just as great as being there.

It's called a journey.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The First Leg of the Journey

     Well last Monday we were packing our bags and setting out on the road to Calvary. In the spirit of being transparent with you, honest to a fault and really holding myself accountable to God, before you I have to say my car stalled in the driveway.
I know, I know, sad isn't it.
I hear this happens to people.
I don't know but I can say I let it happen to me.
I started out with the best intentions (squirrel, that's like chasing a rabbit but different!)( does anyone ever start out with the worst intentions? ) and derailed. I was in my bible, praying and everything. Talked to my hubs about serving in different ways, made some plans, read a little, had some thoughts, bought some really good books to you know increase my spirituality, and . . .  then.
Not.    Much.   Of.    Anything.
I stalled.
That was pretty much it.
Went to church on Sunday and listened to a great a.m. message. I can't remember much of it but I do remember it was GOOD! But the Sunday night message, yeah well it was a little more then good, it was mine. These words were the jump start I needed to get me going. They were my private words from God, written just for me. I busted out my notepad and went to jotting down some notes. Two pages later, . . . Two pages later God had told me what he wanted me to do and how to do it.
It was painfully simple.
Yet so very hard, . . .  on my own.
These were the 8 points. I've adlibed here and there, and taken a creative liberty with it but it was my message from God so it's ok!

 1) God uses people who are already doing
     the right thing. 
     That's not just the obvious.
     It's studing, praying, reading,
     memorizing scriptures,
     pursing Him completely,
     being in church, being the salt and the light.
     ( I have some work to do here.)

2) God uses those who can be interupted.
    Are you willing to be flexible?
    Are you willing to drive a different direction?
    Be late?
    Miss something?
    (I'm good here! With B around I'm awesome
     at flexible! Well I am until #3)

3) God uses those who pay attention
     to the needs of others.
    (I'd like to think I'm good here,
     but the truth is somedays
     I have a hard time seeing past me and
    my little circle of mine.
    Sometimes I see a need and
    won't let myself be interupted to meet it.)

4) God uses people who inspire hope in others.
    ( I strive to one day be this person.
     Sometimes it's hard and I don't always want
     to remember who I once was and
     the path I once walked.
     But to deny this is to rob God of His glory.)

5) God uses those who use what they have.
     ( I am what I am and thats all I am!
      I admire many different people
       and at times have strived
       to immulate them, but I'm not.
       I'm not like them. I'm not them.
       I don't have their sweet spirit,
      soft voice, poetic words, or great hair!
       I'm loud, sarcastic, sometimes a little brash,
       I like to think I'm humerous,
      (atleast I find myself funny!)
       caring, not a push over,
       sometimes a little hard
       when I need to be, and
       I use great hair products
       so I atleast look like I have pretty good hair!
      That's me.
      That's what God created and
      what God wants to use.
      I need to remember this.

6) God uses people who know
    the source of their power. God
     ( I can do all things not through me
     but through GOD who strengthens me.
     I remember this in the big stuff,
     need to remember His power
     for the little stuff too.)

7) God uses those who will try their best
     and leave the rest up to God.
     (A little like 6. Guess I really needed
     to remember this one!)

8) God uses those who want Him
     to get all the glory.
    (I have never done one single thing
     worth mentioning.
     Now God, . . . well that's
     a whole nother  ball game.
     He has used me a time or
     two to do His work.
     I always feel blessed, overwhelmed,
     completely inept, and scared
     I'll screw it all up. But then I remember
     God doesn't make mistakes
     If I step back, let Him have control
     He can do miraculous things.)

I wish I could take credit for these awesome points but alas it's all God via a guest pastor visiting our church. Thanks Kevin for passing me a love note from God. Tell Him yes I'll pick up my cross and follow Him.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Taking a trip.

     I've decided to take a trip. 
It started out as a solo trip but I'm dragging the family along as well praying they'll enjoy it, and bring home so wonderful souvenirs too.
      Lately I've been feeling frustrated, antsy, on edge. Its been like I'm grasping something just out of  reach. Do you know that feeling? Your right there, stretching, reaching, you can almost touch it, fingertips are grazing the edge of it and, and, and, . . . nothing. Then last week I saw a pin on the all consuming, ever addicting Pinterest that showed a very sad picture, had a sadder description and at the bottom of it said something like, "God please break my heart for what breaks Yours". The pin was heartbreaking, it left me with feelings of guilt about my wastefulness, heartache for those who have less then nothing and exactly what you would expect one to feel.

       "God break my heart for what breaks Yours". This stuck with me. At first I thought about the typical things that anyone would think about after seeing that especially at this time of year. I felt a little glutinous, materialistic, selfish. I was ready to sell it all, set out and serve however God said to! Then real life intruded and I thought OK I cant sell out and do whatever but ,
what can I do?
What am I suppose to be doing?
What am I missing?
Stretching, reaching, still not grasping anything.
So very frustrated!!!
I just wanted to scream!
In my head I'm yelling at God, crying out to Him in frustration
 Let me suggest something to you, do not yell to or at God unless your ready for him to be blunt with you. If you have kids or deal with kids or deal with adults that act like kids then you know that moment when you move from holding on to nice and just tell them what's what with no sugar coating. It's not painful but it's not really pleasant either, but then the truth rarely is!

God broke my heart for what was breaking His.


I was breaking His heart.
My lack of everything was breaking His heart. God showed me that my feelings of frustration were His. I'm right there in my walk, so close but just, . . .  He's reaching, stretching, frustrated, so close, just grazing the edge of me with the tips of His fingers then, . . . nothing.
I have been leaving God with nothing.
So I'm taking a journey, a spiritual journey. I'm making an effort to lay on my face daily before God, to seek Him in each moment, to look for ALL opportunities to be His hands and feet, to teach my children to do the same. I'll seek His word, will, and heart daily. No longer lip service. We're going to experience true service and less serv"us".  I know I'm going to mess up. I know I'll miss step. I know more then once on this trip He will look at me and say "Angela!! Really???" and that's OK. I'm not Jesus so He knows I'm not perfect. I'm not suppose to be.
I've decided to take you on this trip with me. God showed me that when I share my mistakes and His victories that He is glorified. So pack a bag and enjoy the ride!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Brylee's Offering

        Last week Brylee picked me some flowers. I later found out they're called Spider or Hurricane Lillie's. They grow wild (meaning I never planted them or tried to maintain them!) in my yard until Dean has a chance to mow the lawn and if the mower is down for repairs like it is now the Lillie's are in luck! Any who B picked a mess of them and with her sweet big sisters help she put them in 2 jars, one for mommy and one for Jesus. I have to tell you nothing makes a momma's heart swell with love, joy, peace, and gratitude than hearing your baby say something is for Jesus. Even 3yr old children know in the depths of their very being that you give the first fruits of your labor to God that created you. I wonder why it's so hard for us to remember this? I remember Jenna and Parker making pictures and such for God. I see now in their childlike innocence their worship was so much purer than mine has ever been. I'm humbled to be their mother.
      Well she did this on Tuesday and today (Saturday) I looked up at the mantel where they were and noticed my lillies were dying. They were starting to look pretty sad, but Jesus's lillies still looked beautiful! Amazing even though I don't know why I'm amazed! Even the lillies of the field know who their Creator is. They know we serve a MIGHTY GOD and they too want to glorify Him with their beauty.

Luke 12:27
27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,[a] yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Psalms 96:9
Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness;[a]
tremble before him, all the earth!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Oh My Gosh!!! Watch That Potty!!!

Now that Brylee is potty trained we have a plethora of funny potty stories. I try not to share too many of these but today's story was over the top funny!
     We went to lunch at Ryan's today and of course B needed to use the bathroom. She thinks she has to use the bathroom at every place we go! So we go to the restroom and it has a self flushing potty. Those of you that know B  know she's scared of these ever since the one at Walmart flushed while she was still sitting on it.  FYI a great friend told me to put a post it note on the sensor. I didn't have that post it note today! So at Ryan's it flushed on her. Again. She flies of the potty screaming "Oh My Gosh! Oh My Gosh! Oh My Gosh! (Pointing at the toilet and throwing her arms out wide) Did you see that? Oh My Gosh! OMGOsh! What that potty do?! OMGosh!!
     I on the other hand was laughing so hard I almost fell over! After I got control of myself I told B to wait because I needed to use the restroom. ( you have to watch her, she'll open the door on you!) She then warns me " You be careful mom, Oh My Gosh! Be careful! Watch that potty! Oh My Gosh!Watch it!!"
    Now you know Brylee is not a quiet child so this whole conversations was extremely LOUD! She was squealing every single word! (She gets that from Dean!) I know people were standing there laughing at this. The looks we got when we walked out of the restroom were interesting!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Mousecapades & Hee-Haw

     Today's blog isn't a sweet inspirational word from our Lord. Nope instead it's a peek into the craziness that I call my life! Have you ever had one of those days that at the end of it your laying in bed looking up to the Lord and in your head (cause if it was out loud your husband would know your crazier then he originally thought) you ask God "Did today have a purpose or was it simply for entertainment value?" I'm starting to think that when they need a good laugh in heaven they simply turn to our channel and watch my family unfold like an episode of Hee-Haw!
   Yesterday started as any other day, Brylee running around like a crazy person, me yelling like a banshee at Jenna and Parker. By the way those two are now doing their own laundry. I am finished digging out or washing clean clothes that they are to lazy to put away so they throw them back into the dirty clothes because "Hey mom will never notice!".  REALLY!!! Sorry chased a rabbit! All in all it was a fairly good day. Clean a little, read a little, clean a little, read a little, wash some dishes (dishwasher thinks it might kill over but I'm going with cpr there) cruising through what is turning out to be a drama free day when Brylee strikes!
    Just a FYI nothing gets permanent marker off walls. That's right folks PURPLE permanent marker all over her wall and her sheets. S--I--G--H--!!!!! Brylee's defense, " I draw you a petty picture momma!" So we wash bedding and hang it out on the line cause Dean still hasn't changed the belt in my dryer yet and it still sounds like "womp, womp, womp"! The rest of the night  we deal with the normal B stuff, jumping into the crib and landing face first on a hard toy, breaking into Parker's room and playing with the scissors, empty our own potty spilling pee EVERYWHERE. Ya know typical B, until I go to bed. Now it gets interesting. (Really did you just go there!)
   I go to my bathroom to pee before bed and don't turn on the light. (Rabbit) I ALWAYS turn on the light. I have this fear of a snake being in the toilet. I saw it in a movie once and happen to know someone that this happened to. Could you imagine a real snake coming out of the toilet while your using it?!!! But I was tired and just wanted to pee and go to bed. I sit down and hear a scratching sound. No there's nothing in the toilet BUT a mouse fell into the tub next to me. Scared the daylights out of me. I jump up with my pj pants around my ankles fall into the door wake up Dean trying not to squeal like a little girl and wake the kids. Telling him there is something big in the tub! That's when he told me it was a little mouse.  We live on a hobby farm with fields all around there is no avoiding mice. Now I ask you this what good is it to have 5 stupid cats running around this joint if they're not killing mice?!! I then tell him I don't want to know how he disposes of it just to handle it! I hide under the blankets, covering my ears and humming to myself so I won't know a thing! We're going with the hear no, speak no, see no motto here. Don't ask, don't tell! Now I'm laying in bed thinking it was a easy day right up until the very end.  I imagine my Father setting on His thrown looking down and thinking "Now that was an entertaining way to end My day!"

Friday, April 27, 2012

Beauty from Ashes.

    Have you ever had a day that by all accounts should have been a horrible day but was really great? Well that was my yesterday.
    I spent the day attending a funeral service for a dear friends sister. This alone should have made for a painful day. But let me say I have never felt the Holy Spirit at any other funeral as strongly as I did at this service. This was not a funeral service this was a beautiful testimony to one woman who loved the Lord so fully that all who knew her were blinded by the Light of Christ. I listened to person after person pay tribute to her sweet love of our Lord and all others she has ever met. I was abundantly blessed to be given the opportunity to witness such an all powerful love.
     Then to top off my day I get to the ball park only to have Jenna get SMACKED in the mouth with a softball, knocking out her front tooth. Now here is where my God shows me more of His unfailing love! We were whisked into the ER and into a room within an hour. They put her tooth back quickly and eased her pain. A wonderful friend called her sister-in-law and she knew the oral surgeon on call. Who called us at the ER bypassing all the red tape and came right in to fix her up. Let me say the ER doctor who was very nice looked at us like "who are you?". While waiting on the Dr. Dean (the oral) the ER doctor came to see Jenna apologizing for hurting her and making sure she understood that he didn't have a choice he had to get the tooth back in. He was very sweet and kind to her. Because everything moved so quickly she has an 85% chance of it re-rooting and all being ok. Now Dr. Dean, I can't say enough about this man. He was a huge blessing. He put Jenna at ease, comforted her and earned her trust within moments. He raises cattle and has a few miniature horses. Well at the mention of horses he had her! Dr. Dean gave us his cell number telling us if Jenna wakes with any pain or has any problems to call him. This is the most amazing part, are you ready? We were in and out of the ER in 3 hrs. That's right I said 3 hrs. Now let me tell you that my friend was a God thing!
     Jenna unfortunately had to miss her Tallahassee field trip today. That hurt and she wasn't happy but God lined it up so that WarHorse came in on netflix so she had something to watch. All in all she's doing good. Thanks to my Lord lining everything up just so she will be fine and should keep her tooth.
     Oh and I have to say I have been OVERWHELMED by the out pouring of love and prayers for us. We are so blessed to have a church family that interceded so fully for us. The prayers that were layed at the throne for us still awe me. Thank you.
     So at the end of a very trying and heartbreaking day I was able to lay my head down and know that He was in control. He literally gave be a beautiful day from a day of ashes. Where some would have counted it as the worst day ever. I count it as being so abundantly blessed I felt overwhelmed by His gracious love and spirit. I had a blessed day. I can only pray everyday is as spirit filled as yesterday was.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

My Mini Me

     Ya know when your around someone so much you start to pick up some of their characteristics. When Brylee was about a year and a half she would point her finger at you with her thumb sticking out as she got on to you. Well a good friend asked where she got that from when his son answered "Dad haven't you ever noticed Mrs. Angela does that". Well a little later he watched as I was talking to someone and lo and behold I did it. You see when we're around someone ALL the time, when we spend so much time with them we can't help but act like them. My parents laugh because my kids act JUST like me. They are my mini me's. They're with me so much they simply mimic my behavior. ( The good and the bad!)
  Well like children who mimic their parents character traits we too need to mimic our Father's traits. Here's the kicker though. Brylee mimics me cause she's with me. She doesn't mimic I don't know Jennifer Aniston cause she's not around her. Same goes for us. If we don't spend time with our Father we can't mimic Him. We can't become like Him.

 Exodus 34:29  As Moses descended from Mount Sinai-with the two tablets of the testimony in his hands as he descended the mountain-he did not realize that the skin of his face shone as a result of his speaking with the Lord.

   After spending time with God, Moses had a radiance about him. His face shone with the love of our Lord. Think about it. He just spent time with God and not only got to bask in His presence but he also was putting the law of our Lord in his heart. He had just received the 10 commandments, had just spent some very fulfilling and intimate time with God. He not only picked up God's physical characteristics but also His spiritual.
     Now imagine if we spend time in God's presence like Moses if we too tuck His Word and laws in our hearts. We too could be more like Him.
  Hmm something to think about!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Are you better than a DOG?

     So this morning I'm sitting in church listening to my Pastor preach, I'm looking at the verse he's reading and a different verse caught my eye. I read this verse and it set me to thinking.

     All of us have something we struggle with, a sin of some sorts. It might be small or it might be large, maybe its a lack of confidence in the blessings God will bestow on us, could be our own personal idols (you know that thing you put BEFORE your time with God) sleep, work, hobbies, t.v. books, music, the list is endless. The point is we each have that one thing that trips us up. That we let trip us up. We pray about it, give it to the Lord and then take it back, pick it back up. I hate when I do this but today I saw this crazy behavior in a new way. In a new light. Really bad fluorescent light.

2 Peter 2:20-22  If they've escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they're worse than if they had never left. Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command.
* They prove the point of the proverbs, "A dog goes back to its own vomit" and "A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud."

     So my question is,   "Are you better than a dog?" Do you keep going back to the that same struggle over and over and over again like a dog that goes back to its own vomit. Man that's just gross! Every time I read that I just keep thinking how very NASTY that is. Yet that's what we're doing.
   But wait!! We are better than a dog!! God loves us so much more than the dogs He created. He sent His Son to die for us not for the dogs

   Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hmm, something to think about.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Fingerprints and Blessings

I'm hearing a lot these days about luck and karma. Then I'm hearing a lot of "Christians shouldn't talk about luck or karma they're blessings ". So I thought about adding my two cents in and throw a challenge at ya at the same time!
 As a Christian I don't really believe in luck or karma but I do believe that others need a way to explain the fingerprints (thanks Sara) God leaves on us and for us every moment of every day. Think about it if you don't have a real personal relationship with God, if you don't know what He looks like, how His touch feels how can you pick out His touch on you in your life? If you don't know you have to explain it to yourself somehow, hence luck, karma, and whatever else you want to call it. I don't think its wrong but its just not quite right!
  So I realized earlier today I say " blah blah blah that was lucky, or I was lucky." No I don't really believe in luck, and yes I know I'm blessed. Yet every time I say luck instead I feel as though I'm stealing something from God. I never thought about that until today. I almost stepped on some glass shards and said "Oh I was lucky I didn't step on that." and thought STOP lets pull the rabbits foot out of this and call a blessing a blessing. So I repeated it out loud " Oh I was blessed that I didn't step on that." It changes things. Calling a blessing a blessing makes it a real blessing. Now my thought is every time something happens instead of saying "that was lucky" saying "that was a blessing or whew I was blessed!" Maybe, just maybe if I do this I'll be taking off my blinders and see not only where God leaves His fingerprints but how many fingerprints He leaves on my daily life and possibly  His whole hand too.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Being a bad parent made me a Good one!

I'm sitting at the table while my daughter competed in a spelling bee today and halfway through I realized I was an awful parent.
 She stood up there nervous as could be, spelling with everything she was worth and it hit me, I didn't lift her up to God before hand.
 I didn't pray for the Holy Spirit to descend upon her and ease her soul. I failed to pray for the peace that she deserved that only comes from God.
 Then I realized wow maybe I am a good parent after all. I didn't have the best examples growing up but I have the only example needed to grow mine up.
 Today I felt like a failure because I didn't pray for my girl. Not because I hit her, yelled at her, degraded her, neglected her, beat her, or forgot her but I forgot to pray for her.
I'm amazed how things change and how God changes all things.